7 weeks and some days

Someone sucked all of my energy out of my body. I literally am too tired to function. When I am at work..I think about sleeping. And when I am home...I am sleeping. Man! I feel so useless lately, but I know my body is working in overdrive, so I just have to accept it and relax. My husband is a godsend. He has picked up my slack so much with no complaints. I can't express how lucky I am to have someone like him supporting me through this. I mean, he cleans, makes me dinner, brings me snacks, etc..etc. Truly amazing. 

  Saturday (the 17th) I had another small bleed. It wasn't much and didn't last long. But still scary nonetheless. However, this time I didn't freak out. I knew it had to be the progesterone pills and my irritated cervix. So I kept calm and just went to bed. Next day it was gone. I have lowered my progesterone from 200mg 3x a day (600mg) to 200 2x a day (400mg). I am hoping on a lower dosage it will give my cervix a little break in between medications. From what I read, most women who get put on progesterone supplements only get put on from 200mg to 400mg anyway - so I don't feel that it's going to be a big deal. I also read there is a lot of controversy to progesterone supplementation in general. Some don't believe it prevents anything and actually can cause harm to the baby. I don't know. I do know I will just take it because I am doing what I am told. But hopefully a slightly lower dosage will calm my cervix down a bit. We shall see. I haven't bled since that night, but still have light brown spotting here and there. I just really am doing all I can to not take those damn shots. I don't feel comfortable with them at all. So I am praying my cervix will stop being a pansy and suck it up! lol

 Other than that...just cruising along. My 8 week appt is Dec 28th. My doctor will be out on vacation so a new doctor will be performing the ultrasound. I hope she is a lot warmer than my current doctor. I swear, my doctor has the worst bedside manner. She is just so direct, to the point and not warm about anything. My husband was even bothered by her lack of excitement when we saw the heartbeat. You'd think we have been on this journey with her for 2 years now, and we've come so far, that she would show a little bit of emotion. We got nuthin. Haha! Oh well. It is what it is. Hopefully I can move along with all of this and go see my regular OBGYN soon and deal with my specialist less. Not sure how all of that works yet. 

 Anywayy, if I don't chime in before Christmas, hope everyone has a lovely holiday!! 

xo

Rocky Week!!!

Well I just went through one hellish week! It all started on Tuesday when I went to the bathroom to put in my afternoon does of progesterone. When I pulled my pants down I noticed I had red blood all over my pad! Yes, bright red blood. I thought - game over. Instantly I panicked and since I was at work, gathered my things and headed straight to the ER. I tried to remain calm, but I just knew this wasn't good. Not that the ER could really do anything for me at that point - but I just needed to know the status of the baby. Was it still there, at this point they could see if it had a heartbeat or not. That would at least tell me all I needed to know.

  So I arrived and in no time, was in a room. They took my vitals/blood and set me up for an ultrasound. There I saw the most beautiful thing I ever could see. My baby. With a heartbeat of 124!!!

I couldn't believe my eyes! I was expecting to see nothing - and there it is!! There was no signs of bleeding in my uterus or anywhere else for that matter. Everything looked great! I was so relieved but knew I am far from out of the woods. But we were still on base as my husband put it!! Baby measured 6 weeks 5days! Right on point!

 So after I left the ER I went home and took a few days off of work. I needed serious bedrest and just time to chill. My boss is pretty spectacular and very understanding of my situation, so he gave me no issues. I spoke with my REI and she believes that the progesterone suppositories are irritating my cervix which caused the bleeding. The bleeding only lasted a few hours and then stopped. But I am still brown spotting so we need to do something about these suppositories. 

  Thursday (yesterday) we had a follow-up appt with my REI. My husband got to come this time so he could see/hear the heartbeat. We went in and there it was! Beating ever so fast at 167! In two days it went from 124 to 167! I kind of got worried like, is that normal for it to increase that fast?? But the doc told me that it's a good, strong heartbeat. So I will take it! haha! 

  Afterwards we discussed the progesterone dilemma. She suggested I could take progesterone shots, which are insanely painful but obviously wouldn't cause me cervical irritation. I agreed to that and we went and picked them up. When I got home I did some research on the shots and found out they aren't as great as they sound. Which clearly, they sound terrible - so imagine my surprise when I read that the side effects can be far worse than anything I was experiencing. It goes directly into your muscle, causes lumps, bruises, and can lead to bloodclotting, and more severe issues - even miscarriages. Um. NO THANKS. I will take my chances on the suppositories. So now I am finding a pharmacy that carries the older ones I was using that didn't mess me up the way these newer ones do. Hopefully it will help and I won't have to resort to these shots. We will see!

   Last night I had my very first dry heave attack. I was eating cereal and I suddenly felt the urge to throw up! I ran to the bathroom but nothing came out, thank god. But the nausea is definitely kicking in! I just hope things continue progressing as they are. I don't think I can take any more heartache. Especially having come so far now with things looking so positive. I am just sort of shutting my eyes and scared to open them because it doesn't seem real. But we take things day by day, as I've constantly been saying. One foot in front of the other. Tomorrow is a different day, but today, things are still ok. And that's what I will simply focus on! Keep your prayers going! Need every single bit!!

xo