Retesting

So I got these supplements that I wanted to take for a bit to help bring down my TNFa, so I was going to push my retests back to the 24th of may to give them some time to maybe take effect in my system before I retested everything, but as it always goes - my doctor will be going on vacation the last week of may/first week of June...so now I need to stick with the original plan of testing on the 16th. Which kind of sucks because now I will not be able to tell if these pills are really benefiting me or not.

  And I cannot wait til she comes back because if our plans are to try again in June - then I need to get all of this taken care of before I ovulate again around the 9th. Bummaz. I have been taking the supplements for a week now, so maybe they did SOMETHING to help bring it down. haha...doubtful. I just know I am going to have to take some risky ass shit like Humira or neupogen to get that level down and I really don't want to take those. They apparently give you a higher risk of developing cancer later on because it messes with your bone marrow. Not something you should really f$ck with if you ask my humble opinion.

  I am trying to not stress, I am working out, I am attempting to eat better (still have lots of work to do on that lol) and I have been OD'ing on vitamins and supplements especially Omega 3 which I am hoping will help lower my TNFa as well. I am also EXTREMELY nervous to see if the LIT worked or not. But again, trying not to stress or worry - because those things trigger my TNFa as well. Man I can't do anything these days!!!

  Well I am just going to have to have the mentality of "whatever will be will be" because as much as I am trying to control this situation...there is only so much I can do. If my body is just simply not on board with all of this...I can't change that. So I have to learn to go with the flow and accept the outcomes as they come. (Again...so much easier said than done). But I'm tryin!

 So monday will come. I will retest. Then a weeks agony of waiting for the results and harassing my nurses for them, then my appt with my dr to see where we stand. As always, will keep you updated! :)

Thoughts on results

So I FINALLY got *some* of my results back. I am still waiting for 2 other panels as well as my husbands results as well. But this panel that I just received was kind of a bombshell. My nurse was nice enough to send me the report so I can do some of my own interpretations and research before my consultation with my doctor on Tues to go over everything in much greater detail. But she knows how impatient and stressed I am - so I can't thank her enough for allowing me to go ahead and do some research for peace of mind.

  With that said, through my research on good ol' google...I believe we have found our culprit. Nevermind the tests which levels came back a little out of range...my focus mainly is the TH1/TH2 results. My levels for the TNFa were INSANELY high. And after researching what that means - well as you read below - it isn't good. Basically my body is acting as if the embryo is a foreign object and getting rid of it. If what I researched is truly accurate - this would ALL MAKE SO MUCH SENSE to me. It would explain the chemical pregnancies. It would explain just so much! Because my issue was never the fact that I couldn't get pregnant - it was that it would never stick! And after every test that I've had - this would make the most sense. My body is attacking it! My immune system is through the roof! Probably would explain why I haven't even had a common cold in almost 2 years!! Not even lying!! I tried to remember the last time I was even sick! I believe it was the beginning of 2014! Crazy!

  I am not totally sure that helped play a part as to why I haven't been sick in a long time - but a hyperactive immune system would surely be a good clue as to why. Anyway...I am feeling very relieved. Not that there is something seriously wrong here - trust me - it sucks I have these issues and I hate that there are problems with my body. BUT. It gives me answers. AND. it's treatable!! I don't want to get ahead of myself here. This is only what google has told me. I can't sit here and play doctor and diagnose/treat myself. I have to wait to see what my doctor says about it all. Her professional and medical interpretation of it all. And as I feel that this is what is going on - she may surprise me with something entirely different. Could be worse news, could be positive. I will just have to wait and see on tuesday.

  Anyway, there are also some conflicting results like low NKCell count but high TNF. I'm not sure what that means or why. More questions for the dr. I suppose. Leave it to my body, I've always been a walking contradiction! lol

But for now...I am happy that at least we are getting some answers!! Answers that I truly believe will help make this nightmare go away!! I have found a newfound excitment I haven't felt in a while. Hope. I am trying to do what my nurse told me to do. Stay grounded, don't get scared/nervous/excited UNTIL you talk to the doctor. Take everything google has to say with a huge grain of salt. So I will focus on doing that. There could be a million other things that are wrong that I don't even know about. So I just have to keep waiting and talk to my doctor.

But man, I really hope and feel that we are making some ground here. I finally think we are on the right track.

NK Cell testing...check!

Well yesterday my husband and I went in to get our blood taken for the NKCell assay. I guess she needed my husbands blood too so they can run ours next to each other to see how my immune system reacts with his. I had to get 7 vials of blood taken and man, what a process. I hadn't had any water to drink that morning since all I was sipping on was coffee. Well apparently it caused my blood to come out veerrryy slowly. Just dripping in one little plop at a time. That NEVER happens. Usually its like a damn waterfall! Oddly enough, same thing happened to my husband as well! Made me wonder if the girl was doing it accurately.

  Either way, we managed to get enough to send off for testing, so now we will wait til hopefully the end of this week to learn the results. I just want answers and I am praying that this will provide us with some. I am sure we are out this month to try again, since even though we will have the results at the end of this week (hopefully) we still need to go back in to see the dr. and make the gameplan. I expect I will be ovulating late this weekend (sunday or monday if it is on schedule) so I am positive that won't give us enough time to get things in order for this month. So next month we will hopefully be good to go with a new plan!

  I do know she wants me to start lovenox on day 6 of my cycle instead of after ovulation. And if my NKCells are elevated, then we will be doing steroids and other infusions as well. That medication is going to cost around 5k I believe. Hopefully my insurance will help pick up the tab, but since it's fertility related - that's highly doubtful. What's even more discouraging is who knows if it will even work! So that may be 5k I am just flushing down the toilet. Man I really need to win the lottery. I am slowly sinking and sinking further in debt. :(

  Anyway, well I will keep updating as I learn more. In the meantime, I am going to do my best to keep my head from spinning this week while I wait for the results!