Now we wait.

It's been a pretty busy couple weeks. This past week I headed down to the outer banks of NC for some much needed vacation time with the family.

  Weds I took an ovulation test and it came back positive. That was on cycle day 13! I know I said before that I don't really trust those, but I need to use every single thing I can to try and predict ovulation accordingly so I added it to the list of things to do. Anyway, it was shockingly positive on day 13 which means (according to them) I am going to ovulate within the next 12-36 hours! So I hurried and called my infusion nurse and begged if she could come that evening to give me the intralipid injection since I felt I would ovulate the next day or day after. She came and I got my infusion! So nice of her to do that. 

The shot wasn't bad. She injected it into my arm, sat with me for 45 mins to make sure there wasn't a bad reaction, taught us how to take out the needle, and then left. I had to sit there for 3 hrs! We did nothing right when we took out the needle! Haha! Blood everywhere! But got it under control. She will have to reteach us next time if I hopefully get a positive pregnancy test this month. 

  So we did everything we could do to hopefully have gotten the job done. Now for the two week wait to see if it was all successful. I can't believe we are finally trying again. I'm trying my best to be calm and chill through this. I am accepting the past and the realities of it all. But still remaining hopeful that maybe this time will be different. 

  So now we wait. Stay tuned!! 

Back to square 1.

Annd I'm out. Blood test came back negative as well as AF just arrived to seal the deal. So I'm officially out this month. I'm ok with it, and I am glad AF arrived so I can get it over with and prepare better in 2 weeks. Like I said I am not going to do all of the testing, and ultrasounds this time around. I will continue with the Lovenox, baby aspirin and only 1 progesterone pill a day. Hopefully that will help a bit and we will be successful next time with less pressure.

  I cannot believe this month will officially be 1 year since we have been trying. I see so many people who got married after we did who are already pregnant. I feel really sad that it hasn't happened for us yet. But I know it will...I have to believe that. Hopefully this will be our month....man I really hope this is our month.

BFN's

Welp, I have been taking HPT's now since 9DPO and all have come back negative. I am now 12 DPO and based on my past history, I have always gotten a line on my early result HPT's by now. So I am thinking I am out this month. I have an appt on weds to get my blood drawn to determine if I am or not, so I guess I'll officially know then.

  The thought of having to go through all of what I have been through again is heart sinking. The injections, the progesterone adverse reactions, the ultrasounds, the blood tests. Ugh. I can't even think about it anymore. It would figure that each and every time we have tried in the past, I have gotten pregnant. But now when I have all of this stuff to help make it stick...I get benched this month!

  I think if I truly am not pregnant this month, then next month I am going to take a step back from the invasive stuff. I am not going to get ultrasounds to see my follicles. I am not going to get ultrasounds to confirm ovulation. I am not going to get bloodwork to test my progesterone. I think all of that hype perhaps deterred it all from happening! I need to relax and chill out! And just let it happen!

 I am still going to do the shots and baby aspirin. And talk with my doctor about beginning progesterone (1 tablet a day on day 21). But other than that - I want to kind of be left alone when we attempt again. Not to mention - I can't friggen afford it!

So now I am just either waiting for AF or waiting for weds to confirm it all. Whatever will be, will be.