Thursday, July 28, 2016

I lied.

Well, August is off. It is now being pushed to September! I know, sucks!! But my doctor thinks it's best I wait a month from surgery before trying again. She wants me to allow my body to heal and two weeks after surgery to try again just isn't enough time. I agree, reluctantly.

  So with another month to sit around, I have decided to become super proactive to gain a prescription for hydroxychloroquine. That drug that seems to be all the rage in the UK and around the world in helping women bring down their TNF levels. Yet my doctor seems to be completely tunnel visioned on what she wants to do to bring it down, and won't think outside of the box. So looks like I am going to have to for her., I have written my primary care doctor about it, and have made a pretty solid case as to why he should prescribe it to me. He is going to look into it and get back to me on Monday.

  Regardless if he decides to prescribe it to me or not, at least he is taking the time to research it and consider it for me. My fertility doctor just shut it down without a second thought which really pisses me off, as I have stated in previous posts. It takes a simple google search. She would rather put me through a treatment plan that my insurance won't cover, and will cost thousands of dollars, vs investigating a drug that my insurance WILL cover and will cost me maybe $10! The drug has stated it has hardly any side effects, is FDA Approved and is even safe to take during pregnancy. So WHAT is the big deal?! Oh let me just answer: it's cheap, and they won't make money off of me. That's why.

 So I am praying my primary care doctor - who this really doesn't effect one way or another - will give me the prescription so I can just try it for a month and see. If my levels don't go down in a month of taking it - then I will stop. But I just want to try!!! If he doesn't prescribe it - then I will make an appt with a rheumatoid doctor and try and get it that way. I don't care how many doors I need to knock on. I am determined to get this because from what I have researched and read, it seems to really work for some! I am willing to try anything at this point! GIVE ME THE DRUGS!!! hahaha

 I will keep you posted on my mission. I am not going down without a fight. And I am REALLY considering finding another fertility specialist. It just sucks when you have been dealing with someone for a year, to up and start over with another. But I am reaching that point. I need to find someone who will listen. That is key in a situation like this.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Post surgery

The surgery is done and boy and boy am I in pain! There is good news and bad news. I guess both is good news if you are a half glass full kind of person. I'm not. haha! The good news is that I don't have endometriosis. The bad news, is that I don't have endometriosis. I know what you're thinking....huh?! Let me explain. The point of this surgery was to find an explanation as to why my TNF is high. I was certain it had to be endometriosis. I had all of the symptoms of it and it would be an inflammation disorder which would explain so much. But it's just not the case. They did find one small little patch of discoloration tissue which he went ahead and took a biopsy of. But it wouldn't be enough to trigger this issue. And he had to reaaaallllly look for it, he said. His exact words were "everything in there looks pristine!" which is great! But wtf am I having miscarriages?! Why is my immune system being crazy if it's not endo?!?

   So basically, I am still left with no answers. Well, not true - I do have one answer...I know now it's not endo that is causing my TNF. So I can cross it off the list. And I do know now that I have truly looked into everything I can look at to figure this whole thing out. So if I go on to still miscarry - I know I have done all I could to prevent it so far.

 Where does that leave me from here? Well, I will go on to have my period this week (if it's not too messed up from surgery) and then I will go in to get my TNF levels retested. I will then decide if I need to do the IVIg and steroid treatment. My husband and I were talking, and this may seem a little wreckless, but we may just want to try again and see if the LIT would be enough to sustain the pregnancy. Either way, we are trying again in August. I have decided that I am going to go ahead regardless. I don't have much time to waste since the LIT is time crunching. And I don't want that to be for nothing.

 I will keep you updated on the progress of this month and how it all will unfold. I am bracing myself for whatever will come out of it. Whether good or bad. I know the realities and statistics and I am prepared. But I have to keep trying.

 On a side note - I have to give a shout out to my amazing husband. You never really know love until you experience someone who does anything and everything they can to help you in your time of need. I know it's what they are supposed to do. But I have never had any man be there for me the way he has. From just making me food, to helping me use the bathroom. He goes above and beyond anytime without any gripes. I am truly fortunate to have someone like him. He's quite special.

Ok that is enough for now. This upcoming month should get interesting. So stay tuned...

Thursday, July 7, 2016

July 21st

Well - I got the call from the schedule coordinator for the Endometriosis surgery and turns out, they got me in for July 21st! Which means, this will get done before my next period - which means, we can possibly try again in August!! It's great and terrible timing all in one - because that is the week my sister and her family are coming to visit! But, she understands and we just have to throw a quick surgery into the plans. lol

  It will be interesting what they find out. It's good both ways I guess. It's good if I do have endo - because that may give me a reason for my high tnfa and perhaps control it. But it's good if I don't have it - because, well, yay I don't have endo! One less thing! lol. So either way, I am going to be ok. I will either treat it, or I won't have to worry about it.

Thing that sucks is - if I don't have it - then bring on the expensive drugs. Yikes. Not looking forward to that expense. I will retest my TNFa a week or so after my surgery to see if that made any effect. Wish I could wait a bit longer to retest - but my period will be coming shortly after so I need this all squared away so I can prep for August. What a fiasco I tell ya. Everyday it's something different. A bumpy, twirly, up and down roller coaster that doesn't seem to end.

Well, let's see what they discover...stay tuned...

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Frustrated

I went to a doctor for a consultation to see if he could do the surgical laproscopic procedure to see if I have endo or not. I waited almost a month for the consult and now I have found out that they cannot schedule me in until another month (August). Which means I won't be able to try again until Sept. if it all works out. That will be 5 months with LIT and it only lasts about 9 months in your system. Ugh. I don't know what to do. Should I risk trying again and suppressing the TNF - or should I just wait until August to see if this is even an issue?! I'm so sick of waiting!!!! Just more crap upon crap. BLAH.