10 Weeks 4 days

Hello there. Just thought I'd give a weekly update here. Nothing really crazy to report which is good I guess! I did have a moment on Sunday night where I went to the bathroom and wiped pinkish blood. It wasn't much and didn't last long, but definitely made me sigh "here we go again". It soon after turned to brownish discharge and I have been brown spotting ever since. Which sucks, but I feel I have been on this roller coaster of brown spotting/bleeding since week 5 so it's almost my norm now.

  The only comfort I can take away from it is that it's brown, which means old blood, and also even when I was bleeding red, every check up and ultrasound I had after - the baby was fine. So I am trying to keep calm that where ever this little bleeding is taking place, hopefully it has no effect on baby. I am on so many blood thinners that it doesn't really surprise me that I would be bleeding more than normal. From what I read, our bodies turn into one giant pumping blood vessel when pregnant and everything is heightened. So anything from a bad move, sex, a bowel movement, hormones, etc can cause irritation or a burst of a vessel. Add blood thinners to the mix and it's enhanced! So I am just thinking that falls along the lines of why I may be bleeding more than an average pregnant person. But who knows. I am not a doctor so this theory of mine is just what is helping me sleep at night.

  I did break down and buy a fetal doppler yesterday. I haven't received it, it will come in on Friday. I am scared to use it for several reasons. I have read that it's not good to constantly scan your belly, as those things can heat tissue and can cause issues with the baby if not used properly. Another is because I am scared it will make me paranoid if I cannot pick up on anything. But then there is the flipside of that, where if I do hear something, it will totally put my mind at ease. So you see my dilemma. But I went ahead and just got it just to have, and break out if I absolutely cannot take it anymore or if I am feeling super nervous.

  My 12 week ultrasound/bloodwork to determine if everything is ok as far as chromosome issues and whatnot is on the 23rd. I am SO nervous for that. Well, first I hope I even make it to that point, and second, if I do make it to that point, pray that everything is ok with baby. We should also find out the sex of the baby through DNA bloodwork. It will take about 10 days for all of the results to come in. I know that will be the longest 10 days of my life. I feel like time is already going by sooooo slow because I am just so anxious to get out of this dreaded 1st trimester. Not that the 2nd or 3rd will be any more comforting for me. I am super high risk throughout this entire thing - so I will never rest easy.

  I am still feeling super tired and I threw up the other day. So that sucked, but made me feel a bit comforted knowing that hormones are still going strong. Starting to see a tiny little "bump" now...well it's probably more bloat than bump...but definitely noticeable.

Anyway, that's all for now! Will touch base again with hopefully nothing interesting to report!! ;)

xo