She was bouncing all over and we think she even had the hiccups! It was really sweet to watch and the tech snapped and snapped so many pictures for us!! I walked about holding practically a book of pictures! She even attempted a 3D pic even though she said they just always look weird at this stage because they are still so young. Ava had her hand to her face like "no more pictures!!" haha! They also did a transvaginal ultrasound to take a closer look at my cervix which they said looked "beautiful". I think I might have blushed! haha jk.
Anyway, here are a few pics of my little girl:
I adore this little one so much already. So our next ultrasound will be the 20 week one in about a month. Technically it will be a 21 week ultrasound by the time I get there. But that's the one where they do all of the nitty gritty observation. I am nervous of course, but everything seems to be going pretty well so far so I am optimistic for the next.
A few things we did discuss that were important were staying on the prednisone and going off the progesterone shots. Two important things that I credit mostly getting me this far. To think of going off those scare the crap out of me. It's like I am trusting my body to do it's job, when we all know very well my body can be an asshole.
My placenta is fully developed and my doctor told me she feels comfortable if I go off the shots. She stated the placenta produces more progesterone than the shots could give and that I just don't need them anymore. I am going to take a leap of faith and just trust her. It's hard for me to do that, since I am a control freak, but I really need to let go and let her do her job. So last night, I didn't take a shot...and I am on pins and needles of how well my body is going to react to that. Everytime I go to the bathroom I'm scared to death. But today, still seems good so I am hoping it just continues to go well. And man, I really am glad to not have those shots anymore. They were brutal.
The other concern is the prednisone (steroid). I am to wean off of those by 20 weeks. However, I have weaned down from 40mg to now 10mg. It's the only thing besides the hydroxychloroquine I am taking to help keep my inflammation at bay. And I am scared to go off of it entirely because if I do...I am taking a risk of inuterine growth restriction, and preterm labor which is caused by tnf and inflammation. If I stay on the prednisone - I still run the risk of both - but the risk is much lower. I also will have to take a cortisone stress shot at delivery so my body doesn't freak out. If I don't take that shot - my body could shut down and I could die. Yeah, fun. And even though I am out of the woods with the cleft lip concern that they say could be caused by prednisone, I am nervous about any other side effects it could have on her. So I have to decide if I want to take the risks and stay on it, to help give me just one more thing to tackle my inflammation issues, or do I want to go off it and take the risk that the hydroxychloroquine will be enough to maintain everything. Clearly I have a big decision to ponder. Not one I am taking lightly. I will let you know what I decide.
Lastly, I finally let the cat out of the bag at work today. Several had grown suspicious because I am starting to really show - and I knew I couldn't hide it much longer. So now that it's out, it's kind of nice to have everyone's support and also be able to wear normal "non baggy" shirts. Haha. I can finally show off the bump with pride.
Everything is still very exciting but still very scary. I am reluctant to let myself get too invested because I am trying to keep one foot grounded since we still have a very long way to go here and so much can go wrong at any given time. I hate being that way and it sounds so negative especially after such a great news day yesterday. But that's just my jaded history refusing to let me forget just how fragile this situation is as much as I would love to.
So I will continue to just take one step at a time. Day by day. And hope all ends on a happy note.
xo
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